Israeli security

"WHY ARE YOU GOING TO ISRAEL??!!"
For a while I thought I'd never make it to Israel or Palestine. And I hadn't even worked out which one I was heading for. Already at Schiphol the cross-examinations started. Visiting a friend? What's his name? Where did you meet? What is your relationship? What were you doing when you met? Gosh. I was prepared to walk around with my mascara and eyeliner on constant display in a scant plastic bag, even to strip off my boots to the embarassment of my mismatched socks, but this??? Don't these control freaks ever get enough? It seems every little inch of intimate space they invade just leaves these security officers thirsting for more.

Stunned into honesty, I broke all dealing-with-nazis etiquette and told them the truth. My friend is working in Gaza helping The Enemy, we met in a muslim country, I have lived and worked in Muslim countries, yes I intend to visit Palestinian territories. After about an hour like this, the officer still hadn't told me the names of her friends, and she didn't look like she was about to share her curriculum vita with me. But she let me get on the plane.

So that's how the fun started. The Israeli Security officers, it seems, are one big happy family, and so once you get friendly with one of them, they all want to meet you. At the Tel Aviv Airport, at the motorway checkpoints, at the Wailing Wall - everywhere. However the x-ray machines at the wailing wall entrance are nothing to worry about. In fact they're totally kosher. Rabbi Rabbinowitz has deduced from Scripture that you will not harm your mojo by going through them on the Shabat - a reassurance the Security Family thoughtfully informed me of.

Ok, enough about the security. The first few days we spent wandering around in the old city. Fascinating. I hadn't read up on anything, so it was all new and interesting. Like , erm, that the wailing wall is actually the remains of the temple, and that the Al Aqsa mosque is built on top of it.... yeah... maybe I should stop here before my shameless ignorance so disgusts you that you read no further? I'll take a break to formulate the few thoughts I have before going on.

So Americans with guns, Shabat elevators, howling Nigerians, unexpected encounters in the Dead Sea, stunning Caesarea, Godsend beaches and the myth-spun Masada...... that will all have to come later!!!!

Watch this space and thanks for reading!